Anew

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Reading my final 2018 post from a year ago (LINK) - made me laugh out loud. I was writing from such a space of quiet, solitude, calmness, no stress. Life was chill, and as I said "I am leaving room for the unexpected". Whatever God had for me, I was going to welcome it. I actually posted it 1 day after my first date with my Fiance.

So that room I created in 2018 was really filled to the brim this year...with things and people that made me experience a part of myself that I didn't know existed or a part of me that I used very little of. What 2019 taught me was to be grateful for when God answers my prayers....Because my prayers more or less looked like this - a lot of the unexpected.

I met Aaron in 2018 technically, but we started 2019 with our 3rd date and solidifying our relationship to bring in a brand new year.

In February, I loved getting to visit my bestie in Alaska for her 30th birthday!

I found rhythm at work. I was also promoted from Manager to Director thanks to my supportive supervisor.

This year I inherited 2 roommates - one future brother in law in January and another in October. I also got to meet my future sister in law too who is helping us coordinate for the Wedding.

My niece also lived with us for 6 weeks this Summer. My brother and his fam came to visit in August - I haven't lived at home for 12 years, and this was the first time he came to visit me, I really loved getting to hang with my brother as an adult.

I so happily got to officiate a friend's wedding - We've been friends for 19 years and met at Church camp.

I met my Fiance's Madrina, Tia, Tio, Primas, Sobrina, and Grandparents.

I went to Toronto, Canada for a conference and was reunited with old friends and I got to explore a new city, by myself - Oh how I value quiet time these days.

Made a 16 hour road trip to South Dakota so my Fiance could meet my family and so I could partake in my hometeam's annual 3rd of July reunion. We got to shoot firework, goto the rodeo, ride the four wheeler, and enjoy the best season in my home state. I can smell the yellow clover when I look at photos!

We got to explore Vancouver, Canada, twice, and my Fiance got to meet my cousin living there. We grew up on the farm together!

We had 41 visitors total since I've lived here - All whom we loved, adored, and made so many memories with. We cooked, we belly laughed, we toured Seattle. We love hosting people, and making people feel at home.

I am half way through my conversion into Catholicism and got to experience the Rite of Welcome in December.

I also started to learn basic Spanish.

2019 was also filled with a lot of the hard stuff - illness, medical concerns, racism (interracial relationship, culture shock (adjusting to difference in cultural norms), learning to let go, dealing with people who feel entitled to my life, adjusting friendships and our normalcy with my new normal...it's been a year full of heartache too. But it's what made the other memories so healing, and so sweet.

Each passing year, I grow more comfortable and confident in where my values are. Who I love, who I respect. What I do and what I don't do. What I am not willing to say yes to if it wrecks my peace, and when to 100% say yes, I'll do that with a joyful heart.

For 2020, I chose to focus on the word Anew. I chose Anew because although my heart is the same; my roles and priorities have had to evolve. In 2020, I will be starting year 3 at DigiPen. I will have been with American Pageants Inc. for 22 years. I am getting married to my person. I will become officially Catholic, I will be further learning Spanish.

My life, in many ways feels different from the inside out, but my values, my hometeam, all the things that keep me grounded and blessed are still the same.

This season - Anew - is about rebirth of my self - Spiritually, physically, emotionally, and relationally. It terries me with how many changes have happened, and on the other hand, the adrenaline has completely fed my lust for adventure. Old me would be job searching and looking for my next city to move to. This me, Washington me, is looking at what can I do right in front of me. What does it look like to love fully the life given to me here, even when so many things were unexpected - Good unexpected and tearfully, unexpected too.

My old roomie and friend - We had a day to do vision boards. 2020 - My inspiration for what's to come!





3 years & counting - Side Hustling

Saturday, December 7, 2019


I looked at my calendar reminder for next month that says Jayme Alexis LLC will have been a company for 3 years! These 3 years have legit looked like a line chart that outlines a roller coaster. Productivity has always been my old measure of worth and success. Even if I know and continue to re-learn it's not. When I moved to Washington my client well that went from needing to schedule 3-5 mos out, was more, as long as you told me 3-5 days out I definitely had time. Adjusting from face to face meetings to virtual was also difficult, even with clients I've had for years before I went independently. There is still something about connecting in person!

So between trying to start a new clientele locally, adjusting to my new life roles, I didn't exactly have the capacity to be old me. I always felt like I AM SUPER WOMAN, I CAN DO IT ALL. When really, I learned this year, that I am human, and I can do many things and I can have it all, just not all at once.

I only made half of what I made in 2018...HALF. When I looked at my numbers, it was difficult to accept...and I felt like such a failure! Feeling sorry for myself, I reached out to mentors that I consider people who have invested a considerate amount of time post schooling. Including the one that takes a deep breath when he sees me calling (usually in a panic). Most of them replied more along the lines of..."Welcome to entrepreneurship"...and that "maybe I should be grateful that this year I worked on projects I'd been praying for the year before"...and that "maybe my blessings were in the content and not in my bank account and I am lucky I have a main job to provide for my basic needs and a wedding"....and "Oh so sad you can't travel every other month and you had to stay at home and focus on yourself and your family like an adult".....HA. So now that I was basically told welcome to life and 2018 cannot be 2019 because it's impossible.

I did want to share what made 2019 magical in side hustling. Projects and people who I've become close to. Ones I've been coaching or advising since 2011, and some that are so new that the thrill of a new challenge has kept me up all hours of the night making sure every word I write or say is going to give us that competitive edge because all of this is so life giving.

Pageant contestants that had been a runner up won a state title, participated in their first national pageant and placed, all 3 I worked with. I had pageant companies / partners that I helped double their profits in a quarter and were voted top honors at the Global Beauty awards. I revamped a pageant program that increased their eligibility for $50k+ in scholarship money just by tweaking their criteria and making it more inclusive - something that is a passion of mine. I got to participate on committee for the 4th year in a row for New York Fashion week where one of my former clients/pageant contestants were recognized for being a Rookie to look out for for Alexander McQueens old entourage. Another client renewed their contract with a professional sports team and we've been talking about career changes and transitioning into civilian life because he knows his days in sports are numbered. I also got a year break with a pageant system I've been involved with for 21 years to find out we are going to actually be hosting our national pageant in Atlanta in June where I am recruiting a judging panel that I adore. I am rounding out the year finishing up a judges training for a major pageant system that is new to the state of WA.

This year was a reminder of why I began side hustling in the first place - I love being creative. I love bringing anything good to great. I can't go through the motions of life without feeling like there is purpose. I really enjoy competing in a way that makes myself better, which also makes my work better and my relationships better. I love these niches that make people unique. That bring them joy, and I love being able to tag along and be by their side for their journey. It's beautiful, and wild, and I hope to stay wild.


Widening the Margins

Thursday, September 26, 2019

My last season of life, I was choosing margin. 

Choosing to have few connections, few responsibilities, so that my heart could feel at peace. So I wasn't over working. Or over performing. Or over doing everything. I wrote about it HERE in February.

But after every quiet season - usually comes the season of what you've been preparing for.

And I have felt that in every minute of the day. It's the season I am in now. AND IT IS SO FULL I MISS HAVING A BORING LIFE. It’s a cycle, inhale and exhale years…and I swear they alternate every other year.

This Summer meant widening the margins back in my life. Opening the curtain, getting back to reality from my soul/mind/heart vacation. 

And LOL…Actually nervous laughing…

It's been an adjustment, and that adjustment came into full effect this Summer. Starting off with officiating a friend's wedding who I met at Church Camp from 2000, getting to room with my other friend from camp who I also met 19 years ago, and then getting to meet Aaron's sweet relatives in Southern California on this same trip.



I finally got to go to a new city – Toronto, for a conference and it was one of the most diverse cities I’ve ever visited. My heart felt so full there, and maybe my stomach too ;)

Because this year has been so different for me, not familiar, completely new territory, that I am glad I got to keep some sacred traditions like going back to South Dakota for the 4th of July. There is nothing like the 4th in small town South Dakota. Rodeo, fireworks, bar life, carnival, four wheeling, gravel roads, starry skies...it’s everything a Summer has always been to me. Aaron got to meet my parents, my family, and friends I’ve had since grade school.

We were also lucky this year to have my niece come back and live with us for a month! Living away from my family, the worst part is being a long distance Aunt. So, having her come with us for an entire month made me so happy, and we finished Summer with my brother, his wife, and kids visiting…the first time in 12 years that my brother came to visit me where I lived – Ike, I know you love me :D


Then, came August…Notoriously known in higher ed / Housing that I don’t exist until SEPT. DigiPen has been such a blessing in multiple ways, but I appreciate working there because of the students and people. I also feel heard and advocated for. Enough so that I was promoted.

I feel like I am typing a Holiday Card recapping my year, but I am just reiterating that if life seems slow, quiet, and forcing you to calm down…Maybe you should listen to it. Normally, I’d ignore it. I’d busy my life up so much to the point I’d be exhausted before I got started.

Now? I am so happy I listened to my gut for the first time, and took the calm season to actually relax. It helped regulate my pace for this season of busy and full. I arrived in WA last year, unsure if I made the right move, sad from a break up, never thought I’d be a Mom or a Wife because I was so over relationships and people, didn’t want to take any risks, or talk ever again to anyone….and a year later….this is where I am.

Planning a wedding in Mexico, learning Spanish to speak with my Significant Other’s family, converting to Catholicism, making new connections, and y’all…even keeping some plants alive!


Even though I’ve widened the margins, and allowed life to surprise me - I couldn’t widen the margins without choosing margin first. I am content that I took my unsure season as a time to train, rest, and believe whatever I’m training for, was to widen the margins of life – to gain what I’d been praying and throwing out to the universe. I hope if you are in that season, you do too. It’s not easy living in a culture where we are told to do MORE, be MORE, learn MORE, MORE MORE MORE. And just step back and say no, this is what I need and this is what I don’t need. To prepare intentionally, to break unproductive habits, and bad cycles.


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