No to reality tv, yes to my reality.

2016 ... HA HA HA. Let’s start there. This post is all over, which if you know me, at least it aligns with my personality ;)

March 11-14....In that 4 day turn over I left my former job, moved to a new city, and started a new job. I was also hiring a manager for a non-profit my friend and I are handing off as well as signing off my clientele to a new consultant with a few pageant systems. Essentially, I was leaving an industry I have been involved in for 17 years...OH and on top of that, my mother and family had been anxiously awaiting to see if she still had cancer. Then to add to the bizarreness of my life, a reality tv show wanted to follow my life for 2 weeks so they could cast me on a tv show about love. Because apparently I was nominated, passed 4 screening interviews, and they were in the process of filming my story........Yeah what a normal 4 days.....

My cute former office evolved a lot in the last 3 yrs.

Now I am in San Francisco. I am no longer in the honeymoon phase. It has hit me that I am no longer visiting...I am going to live, work, and breathe here...

Ready, set, PANIC......WHY GOD?! 

It doesn't even make sense. I liked my life. I was comfortable. I was living in one of the most beautiful places. I had a huge apartment, lived next to the ocean, worked a job that I had more seniority in, had a deep community of people who I loved and adored and it was instantly returned. I was going to be on reality tv with this cute little picturesque life.

And I exchanged all of this for....

A job that I have 0 clue what I am doing. Instead of overlooking the rugged California coastline, I walk through a homeless camp every day. I stepped on a bundle of used needles that people disposed of on the curb. I live with a family that doesn't speak English and not to mention I live in a very run down (sketchy) part of the city. I went from no commute to commuting on public transit every day. I went from nonprofit to for profit/corporate and when you consider cost of living, I am actually taking a $500 deficient each month paycheck wise - which also means I'm living on a smaller budget than when I was in college! 

I also left a guy that could give me the life I dreamt of since I was a little girl and traded that dream in for a life I wanted to create from scratch, possibly on my own...and finally, I threw out or gave away between 40-50 boxes of "stuff" to my students, the womens shelter, or the dumpster. I only took with me 2 car fulls of items and as I am unpacking, I'm still finding I could have gotten rid of more items. 

NOTHING SEEMS LOGICAL, yet I am INFINITELY happier, more joyful, and more rested. I am more gratuitous, light hearted, and giving. I can't stop giving away my possessions, food, money, clean water, clothing, and positivity. 

But my illogical decision has also led me to the following:

A personal life. 

Time to chase my dreams/goals. 

My career now does not own me. When I leave work, I have my best energy for my family and friends. I get to focus on being a better daughter, sister, and a more engaged friend. Someone who is able to treat others with a 100% presence. 

A better understanding of my Korean heritage. What is more emerging than living in an all Asian neighborhood? My cul de sac speaks Chinese, Hindi, Japanese, and Korean. When I go to the bank, the bank teller greets me in Korean. So, maybe this city is not teaching me about my specific country of origin, but I am absolutely getting a cultural experience with my continent of origin. 

Dating. Creating an Alumni Chapter for my Alma Mater. Cultivating friendships and  acquaintanceships into deeper relationships. Exploring the city without a time crunch. Finding a Church home that I later have found out is a church plant - something I've always desired to be apart of! Oh and finding an awesome community group from the Church to boot!

Another layer to my ministry. For those of you who are a bit lost, in my Christian faith, ministry can also translate into purpose. I have been trying to be more inclusive in my wording in my blog posts while still remaining true to my Christian faith.

The opportunity to share my lunch on Tuesdays with a homeless family or any day that I find the other half of my lunch can be given to the person who was digging through the trash to find left overs. 

Having more time to love/live/speak/be.

Making connections on public transportation or in uber. One woman invited me over for her daughter's 2nd birthday just because I was the first person to ask how her day was...We really are in need of connection with others.

So yes, this life I am living seems illogical, yet I am obsessed with every minute of it. Even the messy minutes. The lonely ones. The minutes I yearn for my old life. 

I may have said no to reality tv and my life may not be documented for the world to see, but it can be documented through living what I consider an honest life and that is enough for me, my reality. 

Quick video from my birthday & going away party!