2017: No Dating

Monday, January 16, 2017

San Francisco: Original BFF.

Being a 20 something can be confusing and eventually you learn what "advice" to take and what doesn't apply to you.

One of those subjects is dating.

With barely any dating experience up until late college, I was a late bloomer. I was definitely a chase your goals, not boys type of girl. 

Once I was done with graduate school, I started focusing on my love life.

Mainly because I fell into the illusion that many of us do after school:
Marriage is the natural next step.
As a woman, my eggs are expiring, so best get someone before I'm too old.
I am in a more stable part of life to have a consistent person.

I ended up dating....a lot, and ended up in a serious relationship, mini relationships, and handfuls of dates that all led up to this point today - single.

And I've had my fair share of funny dating stories (more to share), positive relationships, and ones that I learned a great deal from and hope to never repeat.

So, as I turn 28 this year. An age where most women have gotten married and are having kids or this is the age that we all have said, "we hope we have our first child by 28"....I'm actually claiming it as a year of no dating.

I was serious about my 2017 theme and investing into what I already have in life and from my calculations, that also means no boyfriend.

I am giving permission to re-group. Focus on my connections currently and to ignore this idea that I'm getting older so I better hurry and find someone.

I don't have this ache or feel this void like I did for so much of my 20's - feeling like I am missing out. If anything I've accepted this year that ideally I'd love to get married and have kids, but if that doesn't happen, I know I will do enough in life to make sure I am happy and fulfilled in other ways.

This isn't a pity post. There isn't anything sad about my life. Being single is a choice. Just like being married is a choice.

So, instead I also have decided to root for healthy relationships. For myself, for my friends, for my family.

Healthy, great, and immeasurably positive relationships.

I also may have picked up a new hobby where I awkwardly leave a ring emoji under my friends instagram pictures because I am hinting I want them to get engaged.

But no pressure friends - Since I won't focus on my love life, I have all the time in the world to focus on yours ;)

And on a real note, I feel good giving myself some space to not feel obligated to put myself out there when that's all I've done since the Fall of 2013.

So, cheers to a year of rooting for healthy relationships, and I am also planning to post the funny dating stories along the way from this year to relive some of my most horridly embarrassing, but very memorable moments.

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