Mid-Autumn Moon Festival - Chinatown

Monday, October 9, 2017


I love Chinatown in San Francisco is the largest one outside of China - which obviously makes me feel like it's the most authentic experience I can get without traveling abroad. It's rare folks take credit card, speak English, and for the most part, I appreciate that much of this area is untouched and less gentrified. The streets are narrow. Kids to senior citizens are singing and playing games in the parks. So much energy. So many knick knacks, food, music, and dancing.

And too fun not to share our accidental pit stop:








September Highlight Reel

September 2017.

September always feels like the actual ending of Summer. 

This year, it was also filled with reunions, long established ones and ones that are just beginning. 

September also introduced me to new music - like The Might Oaks and Yung Grizzly (Both on spotify).

It meant spontaneous movie nights, random road trips, and on the fly nights out dancing in the Castro.

But it also meant time to reflect. More journaling, blogging, and deeper conversations with people I didn't expect to go there with.

I laughed until I cried at least every week.

Rolled my eyes a good dozen times too.

Felt enormous gratitude for people who have always protected me and had my back.

And most importantly, September, as usual gave me a lovely, but very short highlight reel:

Went to one of my student's rap concerts...on a Wednesday. Also, found another small venue I liked - The Complex in Oakland.
Served w. my church for love week: Rennovated a teachers lounge, cleaned storage room, put together gift supplies baskets for folks at a middle school.
Explored a new coffee shop

Reunions with old work bae 
Oakland PRIDE and First Fridays / Crystal moving to the Bay
Introduced to new music via Emily: The Mighty Oaks. Also, found a new music venue I liked - Swedish American Hall.

3rd Annual Giants Game with Jordan and Nelson

Narcissist dating

Monday, October 2, 2017


...After years of working at a talent agency and then going rogue, former clients and I talk more than just about their industry. We talk about their love lives...and it has been an interesting result of the tough love conversations I've had after noticing certain themes around professional or collegiate athletes, musicians, or anything that gives you instant access to people who flock to you due to your social capital or income.

....And after my own experiences as well as watching this cycle from both ends of the spectrum in my professional and personal life, I am at the bottom of my patience bucket. Most people will say, "you write so raw" or "you're the realest"....Well, it is about to get very real.

I share this for those who are the 'fame' people and also for those of you who chase the 'famers'....Because I want to point out how vicious this cycle is. Obviously, not everyone is like this and there are plenty of exceptions.

To my 'fame' folks:

All my former clients now friends and vice versa, this was their #1 criteria in looking for a partner: All wanted a partner who was Independent.

This one made me laugh...Every 'fame' person said this...but in reality, they still did not understand why an independent partner didn't just end up at their doorstep.

Reality check.

NO INDEPENDENT PERSON IS WAITING FOR YOU.

Independent people are not waiting for you to text or call them. They are busy with what is called a LIFE. With real friends....and a real role in the world...and guess what? THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR TOUR SCHEDULE, YOUR PHOTO SHOOT, OR YOUR GAME AT LEVI STADIUM.

Independent people already have their own thing going on. It doesn't matter if they have less money than you. Have a "smaller" status in their career if they have one at all. Independent people care the kind of person you are. You'll have to EARN their trust. They won't follow blindly.

If you lead with your status and occupation, YOU ARE LOOKING FOR FANS. For admirers. For followers, likes, and shares.

-

To my folks who are labeled as buckle bunnies, jersey chasers, groupies, and the ones that run after the emotionally unavailable tortured artist....

Reality check,

Stop being that person to feed their inflated popularity.

You're not doing yourself or them a favor.

They only like what you can do for them - give them their 15 minutes of extended fame. Once you have done this for them, they see little to no value in their lives.

So, if it is not a real and deep connection...cut your losses that never was a loss in the first place.

People obsessed with their own self-brand and 'fame' are constantly branding themselves, exhibit 0 empathy, and only prioritize themselves and their wants/needs over their families, friends, and humanity.

Does this sound like something you can live with forever? I would hope not.

-

On the real.

J.

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