Celebrating before tying the Knot

Thursday, March 26, 2020


Our USA June Ceremony if permitted to have 

I'd like to think I'm big on celebration. I love to celebrate peoples accomplishments, love, birthdays, and so on. And I always love(d) throwing parties for major events and as you know, planning other people's parties, and hosting people in my home. I love filling peoples stomachs, hearts, and asking questions and hearing peoples reflections.

But this year, celebrating has looked different for me, specifically around my upcoming marriage to Aaron. For timing and financial reasons, the traditional festivities of an engagement party, bachelorette party, bridal shower, and Wedding dress shopping weren't a reality for me, my Mom, and my 14 home team members in 6 timezones and all over the globe.

This has been the least traditional process that I know of in my circle, and unless you live in Mexico, can speak Spanish without people knowing you are American, and can withdraw money from the bank there - no one could really help except Aaron's fam. Which for my family and friends who have mostly a type A personality, this was challenging - Because they are helpers, doers, and get things done type of humans, and so their ability to really help me was pretty limited.

But if there is anything I've grown more into - it's my values. I've lived in them, wrestled with them, and tried my best to live them out through this Pre-wedding process and also in preparation for an upcoming transition. And here is what that journey has looked like...

I tried to honor our traditions. With each friend group I have certain traditions, whether it's our annual 3rd of July reunion with my best friend from College, High School, or Pageants where we go to the rodeo, the cowboy bar, and eat at the Stadium for those steak tips!

I kept breakfast at the Belle Inn with my 2 cousins before we departed from South Dakota. Met up with some childhood friends at my high school friend's parents house to catch up - We used to do Christmas exchanges there for 10+ years! And even if one of my friend's kids liked Aaron more than me, little C, I won't hold that against you when you know better ;)

I was also mindful in trying to spend alone time with my home team. I understand that when you hangout with someone you don't always want to be with their partner too. That is the same for Aaron, I try and make sure to just let him have family, brother, and friend time without me. I think it's healthy - and so by honoring traditions, I also tried to honor my individual connections with my friends. 

More than usual, I also made more travel or hosting plans. I invited more people to visit Pre-Covid19, and I also booked more plane tickets to see others. Because as much as it is a celebration of a new life chapter, I've definitely been pre-grieving for the loss of my singleness, the ability to just go, roam, and be - So in that, this year, I've celebrated by doing trips my friends and I have always talked about, well, minus Italy as it doesn't really seem like the place to go right now #COVID19. Because the most time I'll ever have is right now in my pre-children chapter.

Our engagement photos were done by former RA's / students turned friends and we used that time to also hang out and catch up. Aaron and I didn't want to get caught up in just planning a wedding, but we also wanted to be able to be productive and use that time wisely as quality time.

And I never thought I'd be so grateful for technology, but I have been utilizing group chat for big moments! For example, I ended up buying my Wedding dress from someone - Something I also never expected. I didn't get my picturesque store, "She said yes to the dress", but I did get a moment to share with my loved ones and Wedding party that I had found my dress and it's so similar to the one I'd been pinning on my Pinterest board! I also got to share the veil my Mom wore at her own wedding that I will also wear to walk down that Cathedral aisle.

Technology has made it easy for my friends to add Aaron to Pokemon go, or to get a peak into our day to day lives via Stories on Instagram. Either way, been so grateful that even if we can't share a meal, a drink, and a good conversation, we've been able to connect my favorite humans to my person in alternative ways.

And with COVID19, our June USA Ceremony may be cancelled. And I really empathize with couples who have to post pone their Wedding. But yesterday, I decided to get out our Papel de Picado Banderitas (The colorful flags in the photo) and hang them in the living room with Aaron. I may not get to hang these outside in June, but I decided to bring the party indoors for the time being! I'm looking for any moment that may be hindered, lost or post-poned, and bring it to the present.

This year, this journey of being a bride far away from her parents and home team, is nothing like I expected. I may not have gotten the engagement party at my parent's house, the bridal shower in Spearfish Park (Near my hometown), the backyard wedding on my parent's land overlooking the rolling green hills, or the wild bachelorette party that I had pictured in my mind as a young 20 something...

But I did get to keep my friendship traditions. I got to cheers with my Pendleton whiskey at the rodeo, eat chicken fried steak with my cousins at our favorite breakfast spot. I got to celebrate birthday after birthday with friends who met Aaron for the first time. I spent my year sending snail mail, doing video catch up's, hosting, and racking up my Skymiles and my Jeep mileage to see those I loved...Instead of shots at the bar, we had shots at a 3 year old's birthday party, and maybe I didn't get all these gifts to use for later, but I did get the gift of presence, something I value so deeply.

I love that my journey is mine to live, and my pre-wedding celebration is no exception.

Post a Comment

Latest Instagrams

© Jayme Alexis. Design by FCD.