Open Floor Plan

Thursday, December 27, 2018

San Francisco - Spring 2018

This morning, I looked at my half full closet and 80% occupied dresser...with much space for more stuff...but also feeling like I don't even need all the space I have. A sweet reminder of how much space I've created for the unexpected and how stuff really doesn't make me any happier.

2018 has been more than enough for me, and this is how it has shown up...

I am thriving in my own skin. I listen to my body, and I am learning to rest.

I am loving God and faith without constraints of what it should look like.

Writing. I've had so much time to write and blog, and co-blog with beloveds.

Continuing sacred's and rituals - cousin facetimes, bestie birthdays, 3rd of July reunions, pageants over Thanksgiving, 4th annual Giants game, and a yearly hello email to all my former student leaders and teams.

Co working dates, daily starbucks runs, and new happy hour spots.

Got to officiate my besties' wedding; Saw Drake in concert; Traveled to Mexico City.

Hosted 26 visitors between San Francisco and WA.

Walked through the streets of San Francisco after a rowdy rooftop bar night.

Went go carting on the gravel roads passing through my family's acres on a warm July evening.

Felt the worn out moving boxes holding my belongings that are mostly gifts and the art I feel connected to.

And with who I've become and what I've done, this is where it has left me into 2019;

I miss driving on the Bay bridge into San Francisco at night. The lights were bright enough to reflect off the water and warm enough to make me feel at home.

But the green and precipitation of the Seattle sound is enough to nourish my soul, and I know I'm blooming in a season of what feels like starting over, but really it's just a continuation.

Love really does exist.

I also learned what it meant to let go of someone you have love for because that's what that person really needs...and also hoping the absolute best for them.

I like my grey hairs and wrinkles around my eyes, and the stretch marks on my thighs. It shows a well lived body participating in the life in front of me.

My smile feels so real; My heart is a direct line to my smile.

Getting to see the fridge with my loved ones holiday cards on it - each one of them drenched in memories.

I like moons, flowers, reading books that I bought so long ago, but never had the capacity to indulge in. I love celebrating. I like cheering people on. I love all the things that make others feel good about themselves.

I'm operating this next chapter of life like an open floor plan.

My family is healthy, strong, and very happy. That's probably the highlight of this all.

Experiences over things.
Presence over presents.
Humanity over perfection.

& Turning 30 this year, and I feel like life is just getting started!

South Dakota - Summer 2018
Seattle - Winter 2018

Death & Birth

Friday, November 30, 2018


While November started off as a total sham...Let me bullet thy ways.

  • Got into a car accident, had to buy a new car, got a $1200 tow, and a parking ticket
  • Grandpa died, bought last minute plane ticket to South Dakota for funeral (It was cheaper to fly to Ukraine)
  • Found out a friend got cancer and then their little brother died...in the same 24 hours
  • One of my best friend's dog died, who was her whole world
  • I had 3 rounds of meds to get rid of my 2 month Pneumonia...to finally get better before Thanksgiving, only to now be sick again and breathing through my mouth like a Jurassic Park dinosaur...you can make fun of me, I know I am

Am I ready for November to be over? Uh yes. But with death, and well, adulthood - I can say that my life is truthful, good, and exactly where I want it be. And frankly, although November was a sham, it could have been much worse. Death has manifested itself in many forms in this transition, but it's also birthed a life I had never anticipated. A life that's been a subtly sweet surprise.

Here are some of my reflections from November, a month of death & birth:

Love
I thought I loved X, but I loved the idea of X. I thought I loved Y, but I just had mad love for Y. I tell Z I love Z, but that love has had so few hours on earth that only time will tell if that love will last.

Church
I reconciled the ways of how I do Church & love God a long time ago. But today? Today, I love the way I do Church...in nature, in relationships, in solitude, in journaling and prayer. In long conversations with those of us who grew up in Church, but have later reclaimed our relationships with God in a very personal and deep way that only God can really understand.

Priorities
Unless you are my Home Team, Hustle(s), Spiritual Rhythms, & Rest, you matter, but you are not a priority in December.

Address Changes
This week, I finished changing all of my addresses from California to Washington. Erasing CA from my address has felt like changing my last name. Knowing the best is yet to come, but leaving a part of your identity in your past - is a sad & seems like a too soon goodbye.

Decision Making Committee
I don't make a big life decision without mentors, home team, and essentially my decision making committee. But lately, I've learned that some decisions are best decided alone in a quiet room. I am my first relationship and I'll be my last relationship, best to make decisions that's best for her.

People I Don't Deal With
Shauna Niequist's book, Bittersweet talks about making a list of THINGS I DONT DO...and as counter intuitive as that is, it also helps me re gain insight to my priorities. But this month, I also wrote out people I don't deal with, because I refuse to do others emotional or intellectual labor, and this is separate from empathy and grace. But reality is that some people are looking for layers of me that I shed a long, long time ago. 

My 7 year relationship with California

Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Castro District - San Francisco

This post is dedicated to one of my longest relationships, my 7 year love of my life, California.

I wrote a year ago about how when I moved to Southern California, I was 22, scared, cried when my parents left me - this small town girl from South Dakota. In many ways, I am still that same girl, and in about every obvious way, I have evolved into a woman I am also proud to be.

Southern California was all about re-exploring the ideas and values that I was taught, and if they really matched me. It was about Disneyland runs, receiving my Masters degree, doing all the tourist things - the beach, Santa Monica ferris wheel, wine country, big bear, dodgers/angels games, and establishing my CA pageant family. It was a beautiful life, but I ended up moving to California's Central Coast, Monterey Bay for my first job post grad school.

Monterey Bay gave me the career I needed to define the type of professional I'd be for years to come. It gave me friends who I am so lucky to be officiating their wedding next month, a home 2 miles from the beach, students who I talk with regularly, and an almost reality show gig...Monterey Bay was slow, steady, and sweet. It breathed clean air into my life that felt polluted with personal mental health, my mom's cancer, and my dad going blind. Monterey Bay brought me to almost whole and it gave me space and community that held me when everything I mentioned piled in the same year.

But, like in every story, there comes the part where you feel this is the reason the story exists.

It is so cheesy, but I now understand the song, I left my heart in San Francisco. After Monterey Bay, I was looking for a faster paced life - filled with creatives, night life, and being close to an international airport for ease of travel. So, I moved to San Francisco.

San Francisco was all about my liberation of what it meant to be a woman...and a woman of color, and the power and sacredness it holds in my dark locks and my brown sugared skin. The light and energy that pour from my dark mocha, and beautiful almond shaped eyes. I was surrounded for the first time, with like minded peers & students who were organized and I felt like the student instead of the educator for the first time in awhile.

Despite the dramatic comments from family members gossiping about how, "Liberal San Francisco is making me sin"...Still makes me laugh out loud...San Francisco also gave me a great sense of who God is, what my faith actually meant and how it was practiced. It's where I started my side business, it gave me my first live in boyfriend, the best birthday parties I've ever had, it gave me friends who I consider family, friends who know entirely too much about me. I also came out of a job with skills that prepared me to move up the ladder in my field.

San Francisco was everything I ever needed AND wanted.

I've lived in DOZENS of cities. I have made places that felt like home, but as a friend said, they thought San Francisco was etched as my forever home. And all of these experiences have now spit me into the sound of the Seattle area. 

Seattle has been the easiest transition I have ever had, but when people ask if I miss San Francisco...You have to understand, I am the only blood relative I know, so finding home has been a life journey, and so I am going to respond as if I am recovering from a heart break.

This is a good life, even though I left my heart in San Francisco, I think rooting my dreams to bloom in Seattle is also going to be its own adventure and love of my life in its own time.

Sanctuary City Tales by Elise

Saturday, August 11, 2018

August's author is Elise. Elise was on the first team I oversaw post graduate school. In short, the supervisor before me tried to put Elise on probation aka get her fired because she had an "attitude" problem...But, I found the complete opposite, Elise was a dream to work with! She was bright, funny, great peer mentor, and she kept me accountable. That year she was nominated by her peers and selected by professional staff as Student Leader of the Year. Fast forward 5 years, she still teaches me, encourages me, and checks me when I need it. She wrote about the realities of house hunting while black in San Francisco...this was not an exaggeration. I tagged along for 1 home tour...and the racism she faced was blatant...Read her journey and please pass this to folks who need to hear this. Her story is real and of many:

Elise Washington is an unapologetic Black American woman who cares deeply about justice and equity. She was born and raised in Southern California, educated on the Central Coast of California, and is now adulting in Oakland, California. She is passionate about social justice, traveling, and unpacking the world’s most pressing issues with her homegirls.

Sanctuary City Tales: House Hunting While Black 
  • “Can you pass a criminal background check?”
  • “Do you have the right house?”
  • Looks of disappointment when I arrive
  • “No access to the kitchen!”
  • “Do not make any noise after 10pm, be home by 6pm, no cooking after 7pm!”
  • “Who is renting the room you or her (my former Korean boss)? Followed by a sigh and tone of disappointment
  • “The price is $1,075 for you!”
  • “I pay $875 but I want to save money so you’ll pay $900!”
  • “I placed the ad on craigslist for $950, but you will pay $1000!”
  • “I have 1 African-American tenant, he’s actually respectful. He’s my favorite”
  • “How do you speak Spanish, but you and your family are black, where you really from?”
  • “How long have you been in the United States?”
  • “Most black people live in East Bay..."
  • “It has nothing to do with you being black, it is hard for anyone to find housing in San Francisco”...

It is a shame black people have yet to be treated with dignity and compassion in the United States of America. I wish these quotes came from a book written by an author who wrote a juicy, drama-filled story about a black female house hunting in San Francisco. These are real life quotes from the mouths of white and people of color alike in San Francisco, California. Yep, I said it beautiful, liberal, progressive, culturally diverse, 420, LGBTQ, immigrant friendly San Francisco. It seems there is one population SF has not been welcoming to way before gentrification; the black race. 

Before, you write your defense statement below please understand these “quotes” are not isolated events, I am not being too sensitive, I do not own a race card, nor am I using the political climate to gas light social issues. The experiences I share are real, raw, and unfiltered. This is my experience looking for housing in San Francisco, California in 2017. 

Only 14 days after completing my undergraduate career I accepted a position in the Bay Area with decent pay and full-benefits. I could not believe it, I would be living, breathing, and working in one of the most progressive, liberal, diverse, and culturally rich cities in the United States. I knew the cost of living in the Bay Area was high, but I figured I have a decent-paying job, college degree, lit credit score what could stop me? Racism and discrimination is what stopped me. 

I had been actively searching for housing in three specific areas: OMI (Ocean view, Merced heights, and Ingleside), Daly City (outskirts of SF), and inner sunset. Upon arriving to the apartments, I had a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other ready to write down information. Y’all would have thought I showed up with an axe and a scream mask the way people greeted me at the door. Sometimes there was a look of genuine confusion, fear, disappointment or all the above. Now most folks who are reading this know, I am 5’5, 140-pound female, but apparently these folks saw something different. 

One landlord’s first question was, “Can you pass a criminal background check?” Excuse me while I get ethnic, but Bruh, REALLY? I brought proof of employment from my job stating I was hired as a case manager to work with CHILDREN AND FAMILIES. So yes sis, I can pass a background check in fact I had my finger prints ran that day. 

On a different occasion, I met with a woman who refused to shake my hand. This should have been the first sign.  I reached in my bag to pull out a credit report and proof of employment and she literally started backing up slowly in the other direction. She did not want to touch the paper so she said, “E-mail them to me and I will get back to you”. I e-mailed her the papers later that night and the next day she responded saying she rented out the place. So basically, overnight someone passed a background check, paid the deposit fees, and moved everything in. Maybe she was telling the truth, or maybe it was racism.

Each day I would organize one-hour home visits to view 5-6 rooms. Yes, I would give myself an entire hour for each visit and the landlords would give me five minutes max of their time. Majority of the landlords I met were White or Asian and/or males/females. I am not sure of the exact age, but it was an older generation of Asian folks. When I met with them there was an initial reaction to my presence that I could not and still do not understand. For the record, discrimination/racism is not always as blatant remark or a physical attack. Sometimes it looks like what I stated at the beginning.

Eventually I decided I would have to venture out or I would never find housing in SF. I found a place in East Oakland near Fruitvale station. The potential roommate (who will be called “K”, white female) and I talked over the phone and bonded over the women’s march (red flag #1).   

I expressed my frustration and dissatisfaction with my experience trying to find housing. She validated my experience and stated it was unfair and unethical for landlords to do this. She went as far to tell me she would help me take “legal action” if her landlord tried to do that. She and I agreed I would sub-lease from her as her roommate decided to move out before the lease was over. I felt good about the space, the roommate, and the location. I had my deposit, credit check, and proof of employment ready.  The landlord of the house told K he would prefer my name to be on the actual lease instead of subleasing. Originally K was advertising the room for $900, however once it came time for me to sign the lease from the landlord the price “suddenly” dropped to $875. Due to my previous experiences in SF, I knew something was off. I contacted the landlord and he disclosed the room had always been $875 and K advertised the price higher on her own. Yep, K was indeed trying to get over on me and “make a little extra cash and save on the rent."

K left me a message about how sorry she was, but she did not believe she was wrong. She felt bad for being misleading and she hoped there was a way we could work it out. She stated to me in the voicemail “it was a minuscule amount of money and it was not a big deal.” But folks, it is a HUGE deal, the fact that people feel they can scam people into leases, be dishonest AND feel it is “okay” frightens me. As a black woman, I cannot remain silent and not speak out against discrimination because of someone else’s discomfort with the color of my skin. 

I wish I could say this is not a common narrative, but I have connected with other black transplants who have experienced the same or similar experiences. The new mayor of San Francisco has plans to tackle homelessness and I hope those plans include looking at the intersection of racism, class, and homelessness. 

Fast forward I am living my best life in Oakland with my fiancĂ©. We have our own apartment and can afford rent. Oakland has given me the best welcome any transplant could ask for. However, I also want to acknowledge the gentrification and displacement of black people in Oakland as well. There will be a change in leadership in November, I hope the next Mayor of Oakland will allocate resources and take initiative to keep black folks here.  

Pro tip: the quickest way to get housing in the Bay Area is to get engaged and “shack up” 

KIDDING.

- Elise 


San Francisco to Seattle!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018


Christmas 2017 in San Francisco
During Christmas, I started to thin out my apartment - getting rid of excess clothes, books, decorations, and items that aren’t useful or memorable. I was starting to mourn San Francisco - I stopped making new connections, only strengthened ones I had, I started visiting all my favorite places, etc...

What. Was. Happening.

Every time, high school, college, grad school, my 3 moves in Northern California...this was a trigger that change was in the air.

When I was in South Dakota back in March, my friend who is getting married this weekend also on her 3rd move post college, asked me, “Are you a pre griever or a post griever?”...I never even thought of it like that, but I am a PRE griever.

I didn’t want to leave San Francisco. I don’t want to leave San Francisco.

But when I was talking to my best friend, I said that "I don’t know what it is, but truthfully, my life was evolving more a year ago:...and I can’t let another year go by without making some changes in my life.

So, I started slowly to job search.

In reality, my contract at work was up this next year, I am in a phase of life where I want to slow down, invest in more personal projects, and start making moves to move closer to home eventually. Professionally, I knew this was the time to move up the ladder in my field and that I needed to build new skill sets that don't currently exist in my experience.

Similar to every next life chapter, I made a list of requirements: X amount of salary, must be in a city that is diverse, title and responsibility bump, healthy work environment, room for creativity, near an international airport to get home quickly, and a role where I had less emotional stress compared to my current role.

After 29 applications, only 10 call backs, and 2.5 on campus visits...this was quite the process.
But in May, this small tech school interviewed me and gave me the salary range...I immediately declined. Taking advice from friends and mentors, and wanting to practice the advice I give, I knew that salary amount was not competitive to the city I’d be living in and it was about a $600 pay cut per month on my paycheck. Last week, they reached back out counter offering more money to the range I had asked for. 1) This meant my potential new supervisor likely advocated for the role and for me to receive a more competitive compensation. 2) This meant, I finally found a mutual fit!

I will be at a small tech school in the Seattle area! Although I am extremely sad to be leaving everyone in San Francisco...a post for later, I am also looking forward to a fresh chapter while I continue to move up the West Coast.

Seattle 2018

It's funny as I mentioned I was a pre griever. Because I've made every life decision not very excited about the future...when I was picking a graduate school, it made logical sense I go to this East Coast public school, but no I went to the private expensive Christian liberal arts school in Southern California. Then, I was set on the University of Connecticut as my first job out of graduate school because of the pay and the name behind the school. My mentor told me I needed to visit Monterey Bay since they offered an on campus...and guess where I went? Monterey Bay. After that, I was hesitant to move to San Francisco for a job and live with a family that I didn't know, but it got me into the city and then when a role popped up at San Francisco State, and after being asked 5 times to apply for a Residential Life role where I'd be on duty / on call again, I said NO. And then on the 6th time, I said yes...and although SFSU had its moments, its been the biggest learning and HEALING experiences of my life. So...if you ask me if I am excited to move to the Seattle area, I am...I am just a pre griever who has to take about 6-8 mos to warm up to change.

Although this 3 week turn around time is short, some things I still continue to learn - don’t settle, speak into existence what you desire, WORK FOR IT, and regardless of what happens, enjoy what is. You will never have the phase of life you’re in right now ever again. I will never be the Jayme experiencing what July 2018 has to offer again. So many celebrations to be had in the midst of transition and the space of no longer and not yet.

I am also now accepting moving boxes, tissues for tears, hugs, and get togethers :)

Mid-Autumn Moon Festival - Chinatown

Monday, October 9, 2017


I love Chinatown in San Francisco is the largest one outside of China - which obviously makes me feel like it's the most authentic experience I can get without traveling abroad. It's rare folks take credit card, speak English, and for the most part, I appreciate that much of this area is untouched and less gentrified. The streets are narrow. Kids to senior citizens are singing and playing games in the parks. So much energy. So many knick knacks, food, music, and dancing.

And too fun not to share our accidental pit stop:








You're invited

Thursday, September 14, 2017

I used to go on adventures by myself. But then I got assaulted and I barely would go to Target by myself.

I’ve come a long ways in 3 years. I used to pride myself on being able be my own best company. I’d invite myself to adventures. Waited for no one. Never wished my life away. Lately, I don’t even remember the last time I did something alone or was alone. I don’t remember the last time I invited myself to be my own best company.

So, on Saturday, I woke up, and invited myself on a road trip north. No destination. No time limit. Drove until I found something interesting to look at.

I drove north on Pacific Coast HWY 1 through the magical fog and the small coastal towns that hug California’s rugged and beautiful coastline.

I ended up stopping in Olema, CA at this little lodge near a stream with lots of outdoor chairs and logs to read and write. I spent time just listening to silence and in nature. 

I couldn’t believe it’s been 3 years since I’d taken a spontaneous self-adventure with no agenda…

Living life in the city is exciting. In October I have back to back concerts. In the last month, in August it seemed to be back to back reunions and parties. I love all the lights, the busy energy, and the eclectic people that reside in San Francisco.

But as someone who is also part country - I also need rural. I need a place that is simple, with narrow roads, gravel paths, no cell service. Nature that is limited or barely touched by any person. A place that grounds me, slows me down, and brings life and my living back to the center.

Just nature and God, which in so many ways I’ve felt are the same thing anymore.

My life although fun and liberating, has also lacked self-rituals and consistency. I’ve spent the last 1.5 years building mostly horizontal, which has been rich and full of exploring, but I haven’t spent much time building vertically.

So, stay tuned, you’re definitely invited. 

Photos from my time in Olema, CA:

Dating in San Francisco: Modern Day Dating

Tuesday, August 9, 2016


I've been meaning to write a dating post...

But it's far too embarrassing and until I get permission from former datee's or remove them from my social media, I didn't want to venture "there".

This incident though, is further removed.

My life. Some times. The things that happen. I cannot run into someone who doesn't know someone who doesn't know something horribly embarrassing about me.

So last Monday. Typical Monday. I was meeting a friend and the first few places we tried, were not working out for us.

After walking all over the city, I decided to use UBER - carpool. All of a sudden, a guy hops in the front and turns around and says my name! I was like UMMM WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Turns out, I matched with him on an online dating app and never messaged him back....Awkward. Talk about the LONGEST 3 blocks of my life riding in uber with this stranger. I was so mortified I ran out of the car and bolted across the street where I almost got ran over by a prius.

And I'm not sure about you, but when I think of my "this is how it ends" moment....it's not by ummm, a prius.

A preview to modern dating in San Francisco.

Home is ...

Monday, July 11, 2016

One of the first questions I get when people find out I am not from California is that they ask if I'll ever move back to South Dakota? Or if I'll ever move back to Southern California? Or this or that.

I'm not sure where I'll end up in a year or 10 years. Because everywhere I have ever lived, left, and stayed has felt like home.

I loved running through the endless corn fields, gazing under the starry skies, and smelling the sweet clover roaming the prairie of my childhood home.


Just as much as I loved living in the Center of the Nation as a teenager, where farming, miles of gravel road, the 4th of July, and unsweetened iced tea is a way of life. Yes, South Dakota is home.


And I felt at home in all the towns in between from the Pacific Northwest, to my quaint college town, to traveling and staying on the East Coast and the South for Summers. To the Colorado Rocky Mountains and the flatirons of Boulder. These Summers were home to me and all its beauty and incredible friendships formed.


And to the city of angels. How my eyes lit up driving from Malibu to Santa Monica seeing the sprinkles of palm trees and breathing in the salt water on yet, another sunny day.

I learned I could live anywhere and find joy....rural, city, suburbia, and everything in between. LA is home.



Or winding up the coast to Monterey Bay. There is no comparable feeling to hugging the coastline in Big Sur or crashing into the waves at Carmel beach or sharing this part of the earth with one of the largest marine sanctuaries in the world. Monterey is home.


and then, there is San Francisco. New-ish and my stomach still erupts with butterflies driving in the morning and seeing the tall buildings sit comfortably next to the ocean or driving out and watching the city lights sparkle in my rear view mirror. Street festivals, the mix of city and nature, and all the eccentric people, San Francisco, you are home.


There are too many places, people, and things in all the places I have ever been to call 1 place home. I am home wherever I am and have been.


No to reality tv, yes to my reality.

Monday, April 11, 2016

2016 ... HA HA HA. Let’s start there. This post is all over, which if you know me, at least it aligns with my personality ;)

March 11-14....In that 4 day turn over I left my former job, moved to a new city, and started a new job. I was also hiring a manager for a non-profit my friend and I are handing off as well as signing off my clientele to a new consultant with a few pageant systems. Essentially, I was leaving an industry I have been involved in for 17 years...OH and on top of that, my mother and family had been anxiously awaiting to see if she still had cancer. Then to add to the bizarreness of my life, a reality tv show wanted to follow my life for 2 weeks so they could cast me on a tv show about love. Because apparently I was nominated, passed 4 screening interviews, and they were in the process of filming my story........Yeah what a normal 4 days.....
My cute former office evolved a lot in the last 3 yrs.
Now I am in San Francisco. I am no longer in the honeymoon phase. It has hit me that I am no longer visiting...I am going to live, work, and breathe here...

Ready, set, PANIC......WHY GOD?! 

It doesn't even make sense. I liked my life. I was comfortable. I was living in one of the most beautiful places. I had a huge apartment, lived next to the ocean, worked a job that I had more seniority in, had a deep community of people who I loved and adored and it was instantly returned. I was going to be on reality tv with this cute little picturesque life.

And I exchanged all of this for....

A job that I have 0 clue what I am doing. Instead of overlooking the rugged California coastline, I walk through a homeless camp every day. I stepped on a bundle of used needles that people disposed of on the curb. I live with a family that doesn't speak English and not to mention I live in a very run down (sketchy) part of the city. I went from no commute to commuting on public transit every day. I went from nonprofit to for profit/corporate and when you consider cost of living, I am actually taking a $500 deficient each month paycheck wise - which also means I'm living on a smaller budget than when I was in college! 

I also left a guy that could give me the life I dreamt of since I was a little girl and traded that dream in for a life I wanted to create from scratch, possibly on my own...and finally, I threw out or gave away between 40-50 boxes of "stuff" to my students, the womens shelter, or the dumpster. I only took with me 2 car fulls of items and as I am unpacking, I'm still finding I could have gotten rid of more items. 

NOTHING SEEMS LOGICAL, yet I am INFINITELY happier, more joyful, and more rested. I am more gratuitous, light hearted, and giving. I can't stop giving away my possessions, food, money, clean water, clothing, and positivity. 

But my illogical decision has also led me to the following:

A personal life. 

Time to chase my dreams/goals. 




My career now does not own me. When I leave work, I have my best energy for my family and friends. I get to focus on being a better daughter, sister, and a more engaged friend. Someone who is able to treat others with a 100% presence. 

A better understanding of my Korean heritage. What is more emerging than living in an all Asian neighborhood? My cul de sac speaks Chinese, Hindi, Japanese, and Korean. When I go to the bank, the bank teller greets me in Korean. So, maybe this city is not teaching me about my specific country of origin, but I am absolutely getting a cultural experience with my continent of origin. 

Dating. Creating an Alumni Chapter for my Alma Mater. Cultivating friendships and  acquaintanceships into deeper relationships. Exploring the city without a time crunch. Finding a Church home that I later have found out is a church plant - something I've always desired to be apart of! Oh and finding an awesome community group from the Church to boot!


Another layer to my ministry. For those of you who are a bit lost, in my Christian faith, ministry can also translate into purpose. I have been trying to be more inclusive in my wording in my blog posts while still remaining true to my Christian faith.

The opportunity to share my lunch on Tuesdays with a homeless family or any day that I find the other half of my lunch can be given to the person who was digging through the trash to find left overs. 

Having more time to love/live/speak/be.




Making connections on public transportation or in uber. One woman invited me over for her daughter's 2nd birthday just because I was the first person to ask how her day was...We really are in need of connection with others.


So yes, this life I am living seems illogical, yet I am obsessed with every minute of it. Even the messy minutes. The lonely ones. The minutes I yearn for my old life. 

I may have said no to reality tv and my life may not be documented for the world to see, but it can be documented through living what I consider an honest life and that is enough for me, my reality. 


Quick video from my birthday & going away party!

zipcode hopping

Thursday, March 3, 2016

It's all too familiar. My same boxes are being re-taped - 8 addresses in 6 years, they're vets at holding my belongings.

Yes, it's moving time. It's transition. It's the uprooting from a community of people and things I love in exchange for growth, a new purpose, and serving Christ in a different capacity. This season is familiar, yet unexplored.

But this time is different. Every move feels different.

As I mentioned, I am concluding an era

This life, being a Community Director – supervising RA’s and indirectly overseeing 700 residents, essentially being a camp counselor the last 3 years is and will be one of my favorite jobs. I love all of my students, deeply. They amaze me with their love for LIVING life. There is a big difference between existing and living and I am constantly inspired by their choice to LIVE.

I've gotten to do everything I wanted to do at California State University in Monterey Bay. I have gotten to create, love, motivate, expand, educate, mentor, learn, and connect.

I don’t have a single regret of giving so much of my 20’s to invest in college students. It has been an honor to live alongside the next CEO of a company, humanitarian, educator, artist, banker, and parent and spouse to their future family…I am so grateful for every moment living with college students because I did a lot of growing up too.

I grew up alongside many of the students I supervise. They see me in my success, my failures, and love me, despite my messiness. It’s a powerful and HUMBLING experience to have an evolving circle of people who practice forgiveness, love, and encouragement.

But there is also something to be said when it is time to move on. When you’re leaving not because things are miserable, but rather that you are ready for the next chapter. You know, the next era, the next phase that is going to break you down, build you up, all to discover more about who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, and to impact others along the way.

I turn 27 next week and people have always said, “There is nothing to look forward to after 21 or 25”…My friends, that is false. Every year has gotten better. 26 is better than 25. I have more love and energy to give today than yesterday. I am not too old or too young to start over, move forward, or attain whatever it is I am looking for.  I am not too late or too early to treasure loved ones, find love, go back to school, change careers, and/or find a new passion.

It's never too late or too early for any of that. Define your own time. Make your own choices. It's your life, choose to navigate it. 

I have chosen to accept a position in San Francisco. I have chosen to make another home a new adventure. I am choosing to actively love where I’ve been the last 3 years and celebrating life with some of the most incredible people I’ve ever met in Monterey Bay. I’ve never felt more myself or so gratuitous.

Thank you to my students, colleagues, friends, family, and everyone who has supported my journey. You never fail to root for me; I hope to do the same for you in return.

I love you.
2013-2014 Student Team


2014-2015 Student Team
2015-2016 Student Team
The original hive. The homies. The people I wouldn't have survived without here. The people who mentored me. Co-workers, friends, family. I've experienced every type of emotion and thought with this crew. I love you. 




San Francisco: Coit Tower & Union Square

Monday, July 21, 2014

I have a slight obsession. 
I'm in love with a city I've never lived in:
San Francisco.

I've explored this city and its neighborhoods quite a few times in the last year and I always leave wanting more.

Reasons to crush on San Francisco:
Cultured.
Beautiful.
Balance of nature + city.
Boutique galore. 
Good live music.
Coffee shops........
Incredible views.
People watching.
Food....but seriously the food...

It's a magical city. They say Los Angeles is where dreams come true, but San Francisco is where you go to create what dreams you want to come true.

Views from Coit Tower
Getting close to Union Square aka Tourist City
Cable Cars :)


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