Open Floor Plan

Thursday, December 27, 2018

San Francisco - Spring 2018

This morning, I looked at my half full closet and 80% occupied dresser...with much space for more stuff...but also feeling like I don't even need all the space I have. A sweet reminder of how much space I've created for the unexpected and how stuff really doesn't make me any happier.

2018 has been more than enough for me, and this is how it has shown up...

I am thriving in my own skin. I listen to my body, and I am learning to rest.

I am loving God and faith without constraints of what it should look like.

Writing. I've had so much time to write and blog, and co-blog with beloveds.

Continuing sacred's and rituals - cousin facetimes, bestie birthdays, 3rd of July reunions, pageants over Thanksgiving, 4th annual Giants game, and a yearly hello email to all my former student leaders and teams.

Co working dates, daily starbucks runs, and new happy hour spots.

Got to officiate my besties' wedding; Saw Drake in concert; Traveled to Mexico City.

Hosted 26 visitors between San Francisco and WA.

Walked through the streets of San Francisco after a rowdy rooftop bar night.

Went go carting on the gravel roads passing through my family's acres on a warm July evening.

Felt the worn out moving boxes holding my belongings that are mostly gifts and the art I feel connected to.

And with who I've become and what I've done, this is where it has left me into 2019;

I miss driving on the Bay bridge into San Francisco at night. The lights were bright enough to reflect off the water and warm enough to make me feel at home.

But the green and precipitation of the Seattle sound is enough to nourish my soul, and I know I'm blooming in a season of what feels like starting over, but really it's just a continuation.

Love really does exist.

I also learned what it meant to let go of someone you have love for because that's what that person really needs...and also hoping the absolute best for them.

I like my grey hairs and wrinkles around my eyes, and the stretch marks on my thighs. It shows a well lived body participating in the life in front of me.

My smile feels so real; My heart is a direct line to my smile.

Getting to see the fridge with my loved ones holiday cards on it - each one of them drenched in memories.

I like moons, flowers, reading books that I bought so long ago, but never had the capacity to indulge in. I love celebrating. I like cheering people on. I love all the things that make others feel good about themselves.

I'm operating this next chapter of life like an open floor plan.

My family is healthy, strong, and very happy. That's probably the highlight of this all.

Experiences over things.
Presence over presents.
Humanity over perfection.

& Turning 30 this year, and I feel like life is just getting started!

South Dakota - Summer 2018
Seattle - Winter 2018

Solace in Seattle

Friday, October 5, 2018

I have seasons of wild, chaos, or slow.

But this season is none of the above.

This season is about finding middle ground.

Finding middle ground habits I've been enjoying:

Being okay with night's IN...I know, I know.

Using a paper planner for personal life and digital planner for work and not mixing it.

Work doesn't come home with me, or as often.

Writing.

Reading more.

Slow walks downtown and watching the leaves change colors.

Making the right friends and saying yes to the right things.

Mini road trips.

Saying positive things out loud about the people around me, often.

Texting my parents more often

Listening to podcasts each week.


Writing more gratitude & thank you cards.

Learning to take my time.

Opening my window to listen to the rain...the closest sound I have to waves of the ocean. 

Collages and art.

Playing with my new tarot card set.


It's been nice. Nice finding some solace in Seattle.

My 7 year relationship with California

Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Castro District - San Francisco

This post is dedicated to one of my longest relationships, my 7 year love of my life, California.

I wrote a year ago about how when I moved to Southern California, I was 22, scared, cried when my parents left me - this small town girl from South Dakota. In many ways, I am still that same girl, and in about every obvious way, I have evolved into a woman I am also proud to be.

Southern California was all about re-exploring the ideas and values that I was taught, and if they really matched me. It was about Disneyland runs, receiving my Masters degree, doing all the tourist things - the beach, Santa Monica ferris wheel, wine country, big bear, dodgers/angels games, and establishing my CA pageant family. It was a beautiful life, but I ended up moving to California's Central Coast, Monterey Bay for my first job post grad school.

Monterey Bay gave me the career I needed to define the type of professional I'd be for years to come. It gave me friends who I am so lucky to be officiating their wedding next month, a home 2 miles from the beach, students who I talk with regularly, and an almost reality show gig...Monterey Bay was slow, steady, and sweet. It breathed clean air into my life that felt polluted with personal mental health, my mom's cancer, and my dad going blind. Monterey Bay brought me to almost whole and it gave me space and community that held me when everything I mentioned piled in the same year.

But, like in every story, there comes the part where you feel this is the reason the story exists.

It is so cheesy, but I now understand the song, I left my heart in San Francisco. After Monterey Bay, I was looking for a faster paced life - filled with creatives, night life, and being close to an international airport for ease of travel. So, I moved to San Francisco.

San Francisco was all about my liberation of what it meant to be a woman...and a woman of color, and the power and sacredness it holds in my dark locks and my brown sugared skin. The light and energy that pour from my dark mocha, and beautiful almond shaped eyes. I was surrounded for the first time, with like minded peers & students who were organized and I felt like the student instead of the educator for the first time in awhile.

Despite the dramatic comments from family members gossiping about how, "Liberal San Francisco is making me sin"...Still makes me laugh out loud...San Francisco also gave me a great sense of who God is, what my faith actually meant and how it was practiced. It's where I started my side business, it gave me my first live in boyfriend, the best birthday parties I've ever had, it gave me friends who I consider family, friends who know entirely too much about me. I also came out of a job with skills that prepared me to move up the ladder in my field.

San Francisco was everything I ever needed AND wanted.

I've lived in DOZENS of cities. I have made places that felt like home, but as a friend said, they thought San Francisco was etched as my forever home. And all of these experiences have now spit me into the sound of the Seattle area. 

Seattle has been the easiest transition I have ever had, but when people ask if I miss San Francisco...You have to understand, I am the only blood relative I know, so finding home has been a life journey, and so I am going to respond as if I am recovering from a heart break.

This is a good life, even though I left my heart in San Francisco, I think rooting my dreams to bloom in Seattle is also going to be its own adventure and love of my life in its own time.

San Francisco to Seattle!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018


Christmas 2017 in San Francisco
During Christmas, I started to thin out my apartment - getting rid of excess clothes, books, decorations, and items that aren’t useful or memorable. I was starting to mourn San Francisco - I stopped making new connections, only strengthened ones I had, I started visiting all my favorite places, etc...

What. Was. Happening.

Every time, high school, college, grad school, my 3 moves in Northern California...this was a trigger that change was in the air.

When I was in South Dakota back in March, my friend who is getting married this weekend also on her 3rd move post college, asked me, “Are you a pre griever or a post griever?”...I never even thought of it like that, but I am a PRE griever.

I didn’t want to leave San Francisco. I don’t want to leave San Francisco.

But when I was talking to my best friend, I said that "I don’t know what it is, but truthfully, my life was evolving more a year ago:...and I can’t let another year go by without making some changes in my life.

So, I started slowly to job search.

In reality, my contract at work was up this next year, I am in a phase of life where I want to slow down, invest in more personal projects, and start making moves to move closer to home eventually. Professionally, I knew this was the time to move up the ladder in my field and that I needed to build new skill sets that don't currently exist in my experience.

Similar to every next life chapter, I made a list of requirements: X amount of salary, must be in a city that is diverse, title and responsibility bump, healthy work environment, room for creativity, near an international airport to get home quickly, and a role where I had less emotional stress compared to my current role.

After 29 applications, only 10 call backs, and 2.5 on campus visits...this was quite the process.
But in May, this small tech school interviewed me and gave me the salary range...I immediately declined. Taking advice from friends and mentors, and wanting to practice the advice I give, I knew that salary amount was not competitive to the city I’d be living in and it was about a $600 pay cut per month on my paycheck. Last week, they reached back out counter offering more money to the range I had asked for. 1) This meant my potential new supervisor likely advocated for the role and for me to receive a more competitive compensation. 2) This meant, I finally found a mutual fit!

I will be at a small tech school in the Seattle area! Although I am extremely sad to be leaving everyone in San Francisco...a post for later, I am also looking forward to a fresh chapter while I continue to move up the West Coast.

Seattle 2018

It's funny as I mentioned I was a pre griever. Because I've made every life decision not very excited about the future...when I was picking a graduate school, it made logical sense I go to this East Coast public school, but no I went to the private expensive Christian liberal arts school in Southern California. Then, I was set on the University of Connecticut as my first job out of graduate school because of the pay and the name behind the school. My mentor told me I needed to visit Monterey Bay since they offered an on campus...and guess where I went? Monterey Bay. After that, I was hesitant to move to San Francisco for a job and live with a family that I didn't know, but it got me into the city and then when a role popped up at San Francisco State, and after being asked 5 times to apply for a Residential Life role where I'd be on duty / on call again, I said NO. And then on the 6th time, I said yes...and although SFSU had its moments, its been the biggest learning and HEALING experiences of my life. So...if you ask me if I am excited to move to the Seattle area, I am...I am just a pre griever who has to take about 6-8 mos to warm up to change.

Although this 3 week turn around time is short, some things I still continue to learn - don’t settle, speak into existence what you desire, WORK FOR IT, and regardless of what happens, enjoy what is. You will never have the phase of life you’re in right now ever again. I will never be the Jayme experiencing what July 2018 has to offer again. So many celebrations to be had in the midst of transition and the space of no longer and not yet.

I am also now accepting moving boxes, tissues for tears, hugs, and get togethers :)

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