Role Modeling & Self-Care

Tuesday, November 7, 2017


Role modeling and Self-Care…

Both are almost an over-used, watered down sentiment that we use every chance we get.

And so many years later, so people have really shaped my idea on self-care and role modeling that I could write a separate post per person each day for the rest of the year - grateful for people who let me know some hard truths when I need to hear it.

Today's post was written mostly from my lens as a woman. Because we have different struggles. Different expectations. Different truths. Different narratives when it comes to role modeling and self-care.

I’m still learning and it’s really hard to role model and practice self-care, especially in the type of career I'm in - essentially a 24.7 camp counselor…it's hard to practice until students start to tell me they’re worried about me. Or that I don’t take enough time for myself. Or that they are genuinely concerned about my well-being.

And then I realize the awful habits I am teaching them. The habits that have ultimately made me miss weddings, baby showers, birthdays, funerals, impromptu dinners, dates, phone calls and the like.

And that is not something I want to teach my students. That is not something I want to teach my clients, friends, coworkers, or family.

It’s something I want to UN-learn myself.

And in the last 1-2 years, I have taken better measure to make sure I am there. That I am celebrating a precious baby. That I am making an effort to celebrate someone’s new promotion at work. That I take the time to plan a surprise birthday party for a friend.

And finally, I have been thinking so much on how as a woman I show up to my self-care. How I show up in role modeling to people. And how to stop apologizing for being.

As a woman, the world tells us to be confident and go without make up and exude our natural beauty! Then, part of the world is telling us to LOOK PUT TOGETHER! As anyone comfortable in their own narrative, we know whichever you choose, both are great. If either make you feel confident, show up in that.

These days, I show up however the $(%^ I want to show up. It’s my self-care and I will show up in whatever attire and energy I choose to. I will show up in my womanhood in however I feel like that day.

And I will let the words flow from my mouth in whatever sequence, vulgarity, or grace that it may.

This is NOT an excuse to be disrespectful, to bring bad energy to a room, or to be irresponsible. It is permission to myself to create authentic space and be in that space with others who allow me to be.

It’s also permission to some times work late because in some regards that is my self-care/role modeling. By taking care of something I’ve worked so hard to maintain. And other days, it means re-scheduling meetings or allowing others to run my ish' so I can celebrate a friend’s birthday on a MONDAY.

Whatever the type of self-care, it’s not always on the weekends or in the evenings. It’s any time I choose it to be if I listen to my body/soul and what they actually need.

And whatever role modeling I am exuding - I want it to be transparent. I can still have a lot figured out and it is ok to admit I have even more to figure out than I thought. AND THEN SHARING THAT with others. And being real.

And not always answering “I’m good” when someone asks how I am doing. But also not over sharing with people who aren’t interested in how I am doing – Because they’re only interested in the information I can share so they can share with others.

I’ve been evolving in both of these practices.

And today, I showed up in all of my beloved womanhood, as is, with no apologies to follow.

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