Open Floor Plan

Thursday, December 27, 2018

San Francisco - Spring 2018

This morning, I looked at my half full closet and 80% occupied dresser...with much space for more stuff...but also feeling like I don't even need all the space I have. A sweet reminder of how much space I've created for the unexpected and how stuff really doesn't make me any happier.

2018 has been more than enough for me, and this is how it has shown up...

I am thriving in my own skin. I listen to my body, and I am learning to rest.

I am loving God and faith without constraints of what it should look like.

Writing. I've had so much time to write and blog, and co-blog with beloveds.

Continuing sacred's and rituals - cousin facetimes, bestie birthdays, 3rd of July reunions, pageants over Thanksgiving, 4th annual Giants game, and a yearly hello email to all my former student leaders and teams.

Co working dates, daily starbucks runs, and new happy hour spots.

Got to officiate my besties' wedding; Saw Drake in concert; Traveled to Mexico City.

Hosted 26 visitors between San Francisco and WA.

Walked through the streets of San Francisco after a rowdy rooftop bar night.

Went go carting on the gravel roads passing through my family's acres on a warm July evening.

Felt the worn out moving boxes holding my belongings that are mostly gifts and the art I feel connected to.

And with who I've become and what I've done, this is where it has left me into 2019;

I miss driving on the Bay bridge into San Francisco at night. The lights were bright enough to reflect off the water and warm enough to make me feel at home.

But the green and precipitation of the Seattle sound is enough to nourish my soul, and I know I'm blooming in a season of what feels like starting over, but really it's just a continuation.

Love really does exist.

I also learned what it meant to let go of someone you have love for because that's what that person really needs...and also hoping the absolute best for them.

I like my grey hairs and wrinkles around my eyes, and the stretch marks on my thighs. It shows a well lived body participating in the life in front of me.

My smile feels so real; My heart is a direct line to my smile.

Getting to see the fridge with my loved ones holiday cards on it - each one of them drenched in memories.

I like moons, flowers, reading books that I bought so long ago, but never had the capacity to indulge in. I love celebrating. I like cheering people on. I love all the things that make others feel good about themselves.

I'm operating this next chapter of life like an open floor plan.

My family is healthy, strong, and very happy. That's probably the highlight of this all.

Experiences over things.
Presence over presents.
Humanity over perfection.

& Turning 30 this year, and I feel like life is just getting started!

South Dakota - Summer 2018
Seattle - Winter 2018

Jayme Alexis LLC - In Review 2018

Sunday, December 23, 2018


No matter what you saw on social media...transitioning a business to a different state and retaining clientele that are willing to do virtual communication over face to face was a major loss for me in motivation and in income...Let alone re-building a network of locals I could connect with about our specialized niches - I am still going through the growing pains of this process. I also hired an advisor to help me with the transition, because well, just like the 10 free growth strategies post, I knew I couldn't do it alone.

But today, I'd like to report that today's tears were happy tears, because despite starting over, I had a reminder tonight when my last client for 2018 texted me their job offer to a respected silicon valley tech company (Zuora)! They were one of the athletes transitioning to civilian life, and I couldn't be more proud of them! I needed to be reminded that no matter how rough this transition has been in many areas of my life, one of my favorite things is celebrating other people's wins, especially ones I'm working with!

And as I am learning to share more about me and what I do, instead of giving vague, awkward statements about higher ed, my side hustle, and what not, I thought I'd do a re-cap of client celebrations in 2018!

I feel very honored, and positively overwhelmed tonight getting the opportunity to celebrate these incredible people:

*indicates volunteer/partner/sponsor role & due to client confidentiality, you may inbox me for details, but unfortunately cannot give out identity details unless given permission.

  • Coached 2 side hustlers that made their side hustle come to real life
  • Coached 4 athletes transitioning from D1 sports to civilian life
  • Coached 1 semi pro league athlete transitioning careers; including a player rights agreement
  • Coached 3 clients in career changes; consultations and resume/cover letter make overs 
  • Coached 4 pageant titleholders in interview prep work (All 4 placed in top 5, including 1 divisional winner in ANTSO and 1 winner winning a full scholarship to Virginia State University)
  • Advised 1 pageant titleholder transitioning into a full time career while remaining a Miss titleholder for a major system
  • Recruited pageant judges for 3 MAO locals*, 2 TEEN USA state pageants, AP Nationals*, AEM Nationals*, 2 NAM state pageants, & 1 INTL Jr Miss state pageant, SUNBURST
  • Advised 1 fashion designer for committee assembly & line production
  • Coached 1 fashion journalist in a 2018 journalism contest - received job at TEEN Vogue
  • Advised 1 non profit board about values and diversity; Hired their college ambassadors 
  • Advised mayoral candidate and College President on talking points of college graduation attainment through career options in their city and state post graduation*
  • Advised 1 start up CEO on talking points of K-12 to higher ed pipeline
  • Advised 2 non profit board/CEOs on talking points of K-12 to higher ed pipeline
  • Advisor in Seattle Fashion Week - Hiring of production staff; Selection committee of fashion designers and runway production teams 
And what's not listed, but should get credit, is that there were over 50...yes OVER 50 people I referred to OTHER people. Because I know what I am good at, and areas I am not talented in...and I know some clients will be better serviced with a different company or person. I refuse to collect $ in areas I am not experienced in or will not assist in the intended results of a potential client.

Which is why I've been working on a referral directory for my clients. If you have a service you think could benefit the type of clientele I serve, please email me your information at info@jaymealexis.com, and we can connect on the details!

I like living in a world where we are all living lives we really love. Lives that we don't have to water down, lives that are as real in reality as they are on social media. Lives we aren't constantly branding because they are so authentically us. 

That is a wish for myself, for my loved ones, and for every client I work with. 



Death & Birth

Friday, November 30, 2018


While November started off as a total sham...Let me bullet thy ways.

  • Got into a car accident, had to buy a new car, got a $1200 tow, and a parking ticket
  • Grandpa died, bought last minute plane ticket to South Dakota for funeral (It was cheaper to fly to Ukraine)
  • Found out a friend got cancer and then their little brother died...in the same 24 hours
  • One of my best friend's dog died, who was her whole world
  • I had 3 rounds of meds to get rid of my 2 month Pneumonia...to finally get better before Thanksgiving, only to now be sick again and breathing through my mouth like a Jurassic Park dinosaur...you can make fun of me, I know I am

Am I ready for November to be over? Uh yes. But with death, and well, adulthood - I can say that my life is truthful, good, and exactly where I want it be. And frankly, although November was a sham, it could have been much worse. Death has manifested itself in many forms in this transition, but it's also birthed a life I had never anticipated. A life that's been a subtly sweet surprise.

Here are some of my reflections from November, a month of death & birth:

Love
I thought I loved X, but I loved the idea of X. I thought I loved Y, but I just had mad love for Y. I tell Z I love Z, but that love has had so few hours on earth that only time will tell if that love will last.

Church
I reconciled the ways of how I do Church & love God a long time ago. But today? Today, I love the way I do Church...in nature, in relationships, in solitude, in journaling and prayer. In long conversations with those of us who grew up in Church, but have later reclaimed our relationships with God in a very personal and deep way that only God can really understand.

Priorities
Unless you are my Home Team, Hustle(s), Spiritual Rhythms, & Rest, you matter, but you are not a priority in December.

Address Changes
This week, I finished changing all of my addresses from California to Washington. Erasing CA from my address has felt like changing my last name. Knowing the best is yet to come, but leaving a part of your identity in your past - is a sad & seems like a too soon goodbye.

Decision Making Committee
I don't make a big life decision without mentors, home team, and essentially my decision making committee. But lately, I've learned that some decisions are best decided alone in a quiet room. I am my first relationship and I'll be my last relationship, best to make decisions that's best for her.

People I Don't Deal With
Shauna Niequist's book, Bittersweet talks about making a list of THINGS I DONT DO...and as counter intuitive as that is, it also helps me re gain insight to my priorities. But this month, I also wrote out people I don't deal with, because I refuse to do others emotional or intellectual labor, and this is separate from empathy and grace. But reality is that some people are looking for layers of me that I shed a long, long time ago. 

Solace in Seattle

Friday, October 5, 2018

I have seasons of wild, chaos, or slow.

But this season is none of the above.

This season is about finding middle ground.

Finding middle ground habits I've been enjoying:

Being okay with night's IN...I know, I know.

Using a paper planner for personal life and digital planner for work and not mixing it.

Work doesn't come home with me, or as often.

Writing.

Reading more.

Slow walks downtown and watching the leaves change colors.

Making the right friends and saying yes to the right things.

Mini road trips.

Saying positive things out loud about the people around me, often.

Texting my parents more often

Listening to podcasts each week.


Writing more gratitude & thank you cards.

Learning to take my time.

Opening my window to listen to the rain...the closest sound I have to waves of the ocean. 

Collages and art.

Playing with my new tarot card set.


It's been nice. Nice finding some solace in Seattle.

My 7 year relationship with California

Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Castro District - San Francisco

This post is dedicated to one of my longest relationships, my 7 year love of my life, California.

I wrote a year ago about how when I moved to Southern California, I was 22, scared, cried when my parents left me - this small town girl from South Dakota. In many ways, I am still that same girl, and in about every obvious way, I have evolved into a woman I am also proud to be.

Southern California was all about re-exploring the ideas and values that I was taught, and if they really matched me. It was about Disneyland runs, receiving my Masters degree, doing all the tourist things - the beach, Santa Monica ferris wheel, wine country, big bear, dodgers/angels games, and establishing my CA pageant family. It was a beautiful life, but I ended up moving to California's Central Coast, Monterey Bay for my first job post grad school.

Monterey Bay gave me the career I needed to define the type of professional I'd be for years to come. It gave me friends who I am so lucky to be officiating their wedding next month, a home 2 miles from the beach, students who I talk with regularly, and an almost reality show gig...Monterey Bay was slow, steady, and sweet. It breathed clean air into my life that felt polluted with personal mental health, my mom's cancer, and my dad going blind. Monterey Bay brought me to almost whole and it gave me space and community that held me when everything I mentioned piled in the same year.

But, like in every story, there comes the part where you feel this is the reason the story exists.

It is so cheesy, but I now understand the song, I left my heart in San Francisco. After Monterey Bay, I was looking for a faster paced life - filled with creatives, night life, and being close to an international airport for ease of travel. So, I moved to San Francisco.

San Francisco was all about my liberation of what it meant to be a woman...and a woman of color, and the power and sacredness it holds in my dark locks and my brown sugared skin. The light and energy that pour from my dark mocha, and beautiful almond shaped eyes. I was surrounded for the first time, with like minded peers & students who were organized and I felt like the student instead of the educator for the first time in awhile.

Despite the dramatic comments from family members gossiping about how, "Liberal San Francisco is making me sin"...Still makes me laugh out loud...San Francisco also gave me a great sense of who God is, what my faith actually meant and how it was practiced. It's where I started my side business, it gave me my first live in boyfriend, the best birthday parties I've ever had, it gave me friends who I consider family, friends who know entirely too much about me. I also came out of a job with skills that prepared me to move up the ladder in my field.

San Francisco was everything I ever needed AND wanted.

I've lived in DOZENS of cities. I have made places that felt like home, but as a friend said, they thought San Francisco was etched as my forever home. And all of these experiences have now spit me into the sound of the Seattle area. 

Seattle has been the easiest transition I have ever had, but when people ask if I miss San Francisco...You have to understand, I am the only blood relative I know, so finding home has been a life journey, and so I am going to respond as if I am recovering from a heart break.

This is a good life, even though I left my heart in San Francisco, I think rooting my dreams to bloom in Seattle is also going to be its own adventure and love of my life in its own time.

No to reality tv, yes to my reality.

Monday, April 11, 2016

2016 ... HA HA HA. Let’s start there. This post is all over, which if you know me, at least it aligns with my personality ;)

March 11-14....In that 4 day turn over I left my former job, moved to a new city, and started a new job. I was also hiring a manager for a non-profit my friend and I are handing off as well as signing off my clientele to a new consultant with a few pageant systems. Essentially, I was leaving an industry I have been involved in for 17 years...OH and on top of that, my mother and family had been anxiously awaiting to see if she still had cancer. Then to add to the bizarreness of my life, a reality tv show wanted to follow my life for 2 weeks so they could cast me on a tv show about love. Because apparently I was nominated, passed 4 screening interviews, and they were in the process of filming my story........Yeah what a normal 4 days.....
My cute former office evolved a lot in the last 3 yrs.
Now I am in San Francisco. I am no longer in the honeymoon phase. It has hit me that I am no longer visiting...I am going to live, work, and breathe here...

Ready, set, PANIC......WHY GOD?! 

It doesn't even make sense. I liked my life. I was comfortable. I was living in one of the most beautiful places. I had a huge apartment, lived next to the ocean, worked a job that I had more seniority in, had a deep community of people who I loved and adored and it was instantly returned. I was going to be on reality tv with this cute little picturesque life.

And I exchanged all of this for....

A job that I have 0 clue what I am doing. Instead of overlooking the rugged California coastline, I walk through a homeless camp every day. I stepped on a bundle of used needles that people disposed of on the curb. I live with a family that doesn't speak English and not to mention I live in a very run down (sketchy) part of the city. I went from no commute to commuting on public transit every day. I went from nonprofit to for profit/corporate and when you consider cost of living, I am actually taking a $500 deficient each month paycheck wise - which also means I'm living on a smaller budget than when I was in college! 

I also left a guy that could give me the life I dreamt of since I was a little girl and traded that dream in for a life I wanted to create from scratch, possibly on my own...and finally, I threw out or gave away between 40-50 boxes of "stuff" to my students, the womens shelter, or the dumpster. I only took with me 2 car fulls of items and as I am unpacking, I'm still finding I could have gotten rid of more items. 

NOTHING SEEMS LOGICAL, yet I am INFINITELY happier, more joyful, and more rested. I am more gratuitous, light hearted, and giving. I can't stop giving away my possessions, food, money, clean water, clothing, and positivity. 

But my illogical decision has also led me to the following:

A personal life. 

Time to chase my dreams/goals. 




My career now does not own me. When I leave work, I have my best energy for my family and friends. I get to focus on being a better daughter, sister, and a more engaged friend. Someone who is able to treat others with a 100% presence. 

A better understanding of my Korean heritage. What is more emerging than living in an all Asian neighborhood? My cul de sac speaks Chinese, Hindi, Japanese, and Korean. When I go to the bank, the bank teller greets me in Korean. So, maybe this city is not teaching me about my specific country of origin, but I am absolutely getting a cultural experience with my continent of origin. 

Dating. Creating an Alumni Chapter for my Alma Mater. Cultivating friendships and  acquaintanceships into deeper relationships. Exploring the city without a time crunch. Finding a Church home that I later have found out is a church plant - something I've always desired to be apart of! Oh and finding an awesome community group from the Church to boot!


Another layer to my ministry. For those of you who are a bit lost, in my Christian faith, ministry can also translate into purpose. I have been trying to be more inclusive in my wording in my blog posts while still remaining true to my Christian faith.

The opportunity to share my lunch on Tuesdays with a homeless family or any day that I find the other half of my lunch can be given to the person who was digging through the trash to find left overs. 

Having more time to love/live/speak/be.




Making connections on public transportation or in uber. One woman invited me over for her daughter's 2nd birthday just because I was the first person to ask how her day was...We really are in need of connection with others.


So yes, this life I am living seems illogical, yet I am obsessed with every minute of it. Even the messy minutes. The lonely ones. The minutes I yearn for my old life. 

I may have said no to reality tv and my life may not be documented for the world to see, but it can be documented through living what I consider an honest life and that is enough for me, my reality. 


Quick video from my birthday & going away party!

zipcode hopping

Thursday, March 3, 2016

It's all too familiar. My same boxes are being re-taped - 8 addresses in 6 years, they're vets at holding my belongings.

Yes, it's moving time. It's transition. It's the uprooting from a community of people and things I love in exchange for growth, a new purpose, and serving Christ in a different capacity. This season is familiar, yet unexplored.

But this time is different. Every move feels different.

As I mentioned, I am concluding an era

This life, being a Community Director – supervising RA’s and indirectly overseeing 700 residents, essentially being a camp counselor the last 3 years is and will be one of my favorite jobs. I love all of my students, deeply. They amaze me with their love for LIVING life. There is a big difference between existing and living and I am constantly inspired by their choice to LIVE.

I've gotten to do everything I wanted to do at California State University in Monterey Bay. I have gotten to create, love, motivate, expand, educate, mentor, learn, and connect.

I don’t have a single regret of giving so much of my 20’s to invest in college students. It has been an honor to live alongside the next CEO of a company, humanitarian, educator, artist, banker, and parent and spouse to their future family…I am so grateful for every moment living with college students because I did a lot of growing up too.

I grew up alongside many of the students I supervise. They see me in my success, my failures, and love me, despite my messiness. It’s a powerful and HUMBLING experience to have an evolving circle of people who practice forgiveness, love, and encouragement.

But there is also something to be said when it is time to move on. When you’re leaving not because things are miserable, but rather that you are ready for the next chapter. You know, the next era, the next phase that is going to break you down, build you up, all to discover more about who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, and to impact others along the way.

I turn 27 next week and people have always said, “There is nothing to look forward to after 21 or 25”…My friends, that is false. Every year has gotten better. 26 is better than 25. I have more love and energy to give today than yesterday. I am not too old or too young to start over, move forward, or attain whatever it is I am looking for.  I am not too late or too early to treasure loved ones, find love, go back to school, change careers, and/or find a new passion.

It's never too late or too early for any of that. Define your own time. Make your own choices. It's your life, choose to navigate it. 

I have chosen to accept a position in San Francisco. I have chosen to make another home a new adventure. I am choosing to actively love where I’ve been the last 3 years and celebrating life with some of the most incredible people I’ve ever met in Monterey Bay. I’ve never felt more myself or so gratuitous.

Thank you to my students, colleagues, friends, family, and everyone who has supported my journey. You never fail to root for me; I hope to do the same for you in return.

I love you.
2013-2014 Student Team


2014-2015 Student Team
2015-2016 Student Team
The original hive. The homies. The people I wouldn't have survived without here. The people who mentored me. Co-workers, friends, family. I've experienced every type of emotion and thought with this crew. I love you. 




Anniversaries & Nesting

Tuesday, July 15, 2014


I'm not sure what it is about tonight...
Maybe it was the soothing of Jack Johnson playing in the background or hearing my family's laughter over skype. It could have been the home cooked meal that filled my stomach or maybe it was the sunlight seeping through my blinds.

But it's been lately too...
I scurry around my kitchen and it's familiar and known. I've grown to like the way my apartment smells after making my morning coffee or how the twinkle lights brighten my living room on a summer night. I enjoy seeing familiar faces and feeling fortunate to know a small sliver of who they are.

Whatever it is. Whatever it has been. It feels like home. Who knew the every day, the mundane things are what make my home, a home. It's not the adventure that I thirst or the times spent exploring a city I haven't explored. All of those things help make me feel alive and attached, but the quiet and simple things about my life the past 373 days have established this sense of home to me...and it feels good.



On July 8, I approached my 1 year work anniversary and on August 3 I approach my 3 year anniversary in California. I may have lived in 4 different cities in this beautiful state, but each with its own lesson and each have played a role in my story of becoming. 

It's just different this time around. I'm not in transition or worried about where I'll live next. My belongings aren't scattered between friend's garages, my car, and a storage unit. It's all here with me, nesting in my peaceful home. 


"That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that movie-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets—this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of us will ever experience." - Shauna Niequist in Cold Tangerines
Shauna's books help me digest the seasons of my life and I couldn't agree more that this current pedestrian life is one of the most precious lessons I've had in my young twenty something life.

Happy Nesting!

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